How to overcome fear in life

06/11/2020

Almost every morning I start the day with a very early (and increasingly chilly!) dog walk.  Usually my first decision of the day is where to take Aurora for her walk.  Quite a decision at silly o'clock with a sleep fogged brain and a body that would, at that moment, sell its soul for another few minutes in bed. 

So I reluctantly get dressed, pull on my hat (my unbrushed hair is not a pretty sight), grab her lead and step out of the front door.  And right then, as the cool air touches my face and the silence of the early morning fills my ears I'm instantly filled with gratitude for this time alone while most of the village is still asleep.

Now, in the house Aurora is an avid barker at anything that dares to breathe in the vicinity of our driveway. I have many a parcel flung from a distance towards the general direction of my front door by delivery men convinced that the snarling, barking, frantic dog at the window will rip them limb from limb if they dare to get too close.  But outside the house it's a whole different ballgame and, if the truth be told, Aurora isn't a fan of winter mornings because...well...she's a complete and utter fraidy cat when it comes to the dark.

How does fear escalate?

One particular morning we were walking around the field in the half light and Aurora seemed particularly worried about the imagined monsters waiting to jump out of the bushes at her. The morning breeze was amazing and the sky was a beautiful shade of orange as two tiny Jack Russel Terriers came running out onto the opposite side of the field. Clearly these two tiny pups were the monsters Aurora had been dreading and as soon as she spotted them (which was quite a feat in itself because they were so tiny and pretty far away!) she responded by planting her tail firmly between her legs, barking loudly at them and running around in circles to convince them of her pretend bravery.

Next, an incredibly un-intimidating and extremely old black labrador came hobbling onto the field.  Aurora's fear sky rocketed at the sight of this dog that very clearly couldn't have caught up with her even if she had been standing still! After 10 minutes of trying to convince her that she wasn't in mortal danger, I had to concede defeat and put her back on the lead and take her home.

I felt so sad walking Aurora home that morning because I knew she'd lost out on the chance to do what she loves best - chase around with other dogs. Okay, maybe she loves treats best. But having a good run around with other dogs is definitely a close second! And I'd missed out on watching the utter joy radiating from her when she's playing.

Aurora's fear got the better of her that morning. And the thing is, it was a fear of imagined dangers. Those dogs were no threat to her and neither was the half light of the morning.  But in her mind, the danger was very real and it was all she saw. And the more she focussed on it, the scarier the danger became.

On our way home the sky grew lighter and we bumped into a dog we know.  Aurora greeted the dog with no fear whatsoever.  The darkness had mostly gone and the dog was familiar so Aurora's imagination didn't play tricks on her. She felt safe. But she was on the lead and we were nearly home so she didn't get the chance to play. Just a quick sniff hello.

My questions to you are:  

Where in your life does fear keep you safe but not happy?

Where do you imagine monsters that aren't really there?

Where do you lose out on the good things in life because your fear won't let you play?

Where do you stick with the familiar simply because it's safe?

What is the soulution to fear?

The thing is, our reptilian brain is always on the look out for danger, just as it needed to be for our cave dwelling ancestors running from sabre tooth tigers! But these days most of the 'dangers' our brain is telling us to respond to are imagined dangers. Our brain's job is to keep us safe, not happy. Happiness is the job of the soul.

I challenge you to say "Thanks but you can calm the hell down now, I'll take it from here!" to your reptilian brain. I challenge you to tune into your soul, trust your intuition, lead with love rather than fear and seize all the opportunities towards joy and purpose that come your way.