Replace That Guilt With Gratitude, Honey
18/12/2020
I truly learnt this lesson last year, when my family and I went on holiday to my home country, South Africa. As always when I go home, I like to travel around a bit.
In 2019, we decided to travel to Mozambique and spend a few days there during our trip home. As beautiful as Mozambique is, it remains one of the least developed countries in the world with around 50% of the population still living in poverty.
But my God the beaches and landscape are stunning!
Anyone up for a bit of adventure?
One day during our holiday we hired quad bikes and took a tour round the many beach bars and local settlements.
When I say beach bar, you probably conjure up a luxurious brick-built bar on the beach in your mind. Nothing could be further from the truth. These gorgeous little bars are mostly simple open-air structures. Very third world. But bloody amazing!
We drove past mud huts and metal shacks that the locals live in. The poverty is unmistakable. My initial feelings were of pity for these people living with so little and utter shame at my comparative wealth. I felt sure the locals must feel envy and resentment towards these showy tourists riding past on quad bikes that cost more than all their possessions put together. I was embarrassed and ashamed.
Happiness is not dependent on wealth
But then I started to notice the huge smiles and happy waves from the locals as we drove past. The incredibly friendly welcome from the bar owners when we stopped to buy a drink and have a chat. The small children playing with nothing more than sticks in the sand, looking so happy and peaceful.
These people may be poor in material terms but they're positively abundant in terms of fulfilment, alignment and happiness. The simplicity and joy for life was written all over their faces.
My heart was brimming as I watched my son without hesitation pick up a stick and start to play with a little local boy at one of the bars. Language was no barrier as they happily drew patterns in the sand and laughed with each other.
And then I realised that these people would probably be mortified if they knew how I had pitied them. I wondered if they pitied us. And my dominant thought was, "I bet there's far less poor mental health here than there is in developed countries". We make life so complicated. Here life was simple. I started to feel a pang of envy.
Guilt free abundance is okay too
And the truth is, there is enough abundance in this world for everyone. We shouldn't feel ashamed of what we have and what we want - however much or little that may be.
By gaining something for ourselves we are not taking away from someone else. The Universe is limitless. Guilt at your own abundance does not alleviate the apparent lack of abundance of other people.
Can you feel the gratitude?
Instead, why not just feel incredible gratitude for what you have? Gratitude that your abundance not only provides you lifestyle comforts and freedom but also allows you to be charitable by giving to others. Not because you pity them. Just because nothing is worth anything if you can't share it.
During our time in Mozambique we bought countless drinks and treats for the local children (who had the biggest smiles I've every seen!) we met in the beach bars and on the beach. My son had the best time sharing his boogey board, food and towel with a local boy he met on the beach. I've never been prouder of him than I was when he gave his favourite towel to this boy to keep when we left because he was worried he'd get cold without it.
I felt absolutely humbled by what I experienced in Mozambique. I also felt so grateful for the abundance I have in my life. No guilt. And almost a pang of envy at the ability of these awesome people to exude such love and happiness regardless of how much or how little they have from a material perspective.
